1 Month: Love

So sweet girl, you've been here with us for a whole month now! Although you are no longer in my womb, but are in my arms instead, I still feel like writing to you. So, guess what? I will.

Your first month has been a busy one for us. So much has happened. . .I'm not quite sure how or if I should put it all in words. But here is what I am sure of: there is one thing that prevails each and every day, and that is love. So much love, and Mommy is grateful. God has poured His love out on our family in ways that Mommy didn't see coming. I see it in your Daddy and your siblings, in your grandparents, aunts & uncles, our cousins, in friends, even in people I don't really know. . .Love. So, you are blessed to be in the middle of it all.

. . .God is love. -1 John 4:8

A quilt made just for you by a lady we hardly know...
An act of love.

36 Weeks

"Unsure of what the balance held,

I touched my belly, overwhelmed

by what I had been chosen to perform.

But, then an angel came one day,

told me to kneel down and pray. . . ."

-Lauryn Hill



Dear baby K,
The lyrics in the song above reflect how I feel some days. . . .there are times when I can't believe that God has chosen me to be a mommy to all of you, times when I wonder how it will all fall into place. . . and then I remember Peter's words and I begin to pray:

 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,

that He may exalt you in due time, 

casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

-1 Peter 5:6-7

 

 

So, it's not about me and what I think I can do and what I think I can handle. . .it's about mommy trusting God, humbling myself before Him, and telling Him all about my concerns. Our God cares for us, sweet girl, and He wants us to tell Him all about it. And so I do.

And when I do, I feel so much better because He reassures, He reaffirms, He comforts, He sustains, He provides, He cares. . .

My excitement to see you grows with each day but I'm trying to remain calm and take it one day at a time. The doctor told me that I am 1-2cm dilated; before we count that as "progress" it's actually the "norm" for me since it's my 7th pregnancy. So we just wait patiently on the Lord and I know you'll come at an appointed time.

I love you sweet girl. Time is ticking. . .

35 Weeks

Hey sweetie-peetie!

This past weekend was the celebration of our Savior's death, burial, and resurrection. Oh, how I pray that you will come to know Him for yourself, that you will learn to depend on Him, that you would never be swayed by the things of this world, but that you put your faith wholeheartedly in Him and Him alone. Dear girl, what a blessing it is to know a Savior, to know that He loves you, to know that you are on His mind, to know that He gave His life for you, and that no matter what, you can ask Him for forgiveness and He'll give it to you. . . what a sweet blessing, the ultimate blessing. Jesus loves you, sweetie, and it is Mommy's prayer that you love Him back.

The past few days have me reflecting--35 weeks! Eeek! It seems this pregnancy has been full, from day one, there's always been something going on in our home life: the surprise news that you were coming, the government shut-down (where Daddy works), home improvements, morning sickness, homeschooling, Thanksgiving and Christmas, bunches of doctor's appointments, the passing of family members, your siblings in swimming, soccer, football and baseball, lots of birthdays, an unexpected family trip . . . on and on.

Yours has been an "active" pregnancy, sweet girl and God has shown me His hand through it all. He has shown me that each part is just a part of His plan, His will--even when Mommy doesn't understand. I rest in the Truth of what He's always known from the beginning of time. . .He knew this season of life would be a part of our story and that He'd never let go of my hand. Keeping my hand in His is where true peace and joy are found. So even though the pregnancy has been full, it has been rich from having the Presence of God with us every step of the way.

Some days, I feel like I just found out that you were on your way. Other days, I think that I can't possibly wait any longer to see you. Back and forth in my mind it goes. I love you, precious baby, and because God gave you to us, I am blessed.

31 Weeks

I'm grateful...

You are moving well

God has graced my womb with life 7 times

I have delivered 5 babies so far

I get to be called Mommy

I am in love with your Daddy

Daddy loves me and you and your sisters and brothers

Jesus love us deeply, purely and wholly

I am blessed and sleepy.

Good night, baby girl.

Fruit of the Womb

Baby girl,

Do you remember how I told you before that Mommy has to work on not caring so much about what other people say (when they are trying to be mean or rude)? So often, Mommy and Daddy are questioned, criticized, looked down upon, teased, misunderstood, stared at--all because you have 5 siblings. This comes from complete strangers, and even some of our family and friends. And, many of them are Christians.

Why does that matter--being a Christian?

Well,  sweet girl, it matters because of what God says about children. And, as God's children, we are to align our thinking with His.

In Bible study today, God just reassured Mommy and opened my eyes anew to a passage of Scripture that has been pretty familiar to me. I was reading Psalm 127:3-5 and I decided to read it from The Message translation and this is what is says:

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb His generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

-Psalm 127:3-5

 

Prayerfully, you will come to learn that the Word of the Lord is a balm to the soul. And little one, this was so refreshing and so soothing to me on so many levels. I keep reading it again and again. I said to Daddy, "Babe, look at this translation!" The part that stuck out to him was the end, about enemies. Why? Because a family that is rooted in God's Word, that understands that children are such a great blessing, will be able to stand strong together.

 

So, when people question us, when they stare, when they start counting how many kids call one person, "Mommy", when they tell me that I should not have had you all, when they're shocked that Daddy has fun with you guys, when they call me crazy or shake their heads in disgust, when they say that they feel sorry for me, when they don't understand, we will stand firm as a family, knowing that God's Word is true and it cannot lie.

 

You and your siblings are God's best gift to Daddy and me. I pray sweetheart, that moms and dads view their children as God's best gifts, His generous legacy, a blessing--not a burden, no matter how many children they have.

 

You are wanted and you are loved.

-Mommy

Your sisters and brothers. . .we're waiting for you!

 

27 Weeks

Well, sweetie, this is our last week of the 6 month. Things are just moving so quickly it seems.

I feel like I was just sitting across from Daddy in a restaurant, your brothers and sisters all around us, and he said, "Lu, I've been so tired; why am I so tired? I think the baby is making me tired. . . I think you're pregnant!"

**Background information for you: whatever pregnancy symptoms I have, Daddy says he experiences some of them, too. So, if I'm sleepy, Daddy says he is, too. If I say I have an upset tummy, Daddy says he feels queasy, too! Funny Daddy, huh?!**

Anyway, he looked me right in the eyes, smile on his face and said, "Yeah, I think you're pregnant." Why that made me nervous, I don't know. Every single time God has graced my womb with life, it makes me nervous and this time wasn't any different. I told Daddy, "I'm not sure; I don't know if I'm pregnant." But way, deep, deep, down, I knew it, too. We went home to take a pregnancy test, and there it was plain as day: TWO PINK LINES!!!

Daddy said, "See, Lu! I told you! I knew it!!" And he's been bubbly about you ever since!
Today, he sat down on the couch next to me and said, "K--- is on her way; she's coming!" In other words, sweet girl, he's ready to hold you in his arms. And, so am I.

You are big enough now that I can just look down at my tummy and see your movements. You're making mama's belly jump! :) I love you more than you know.

23 Weeks

Hey, Sugar!

Guess what? I was digging around in my yarn stash--looking for scraps for your oldest brother's art project--and guess what I found?

A baby sweater I'd crocheted about 5 or 6 years ago! Along with that, I also found some crocheted squares that I intended to sew together to make a baby blanket! You may be wondering, "What's the big deal about that, Mommy?" Well, they are for a baby girl!!!!! 

Lavender sweater. . .just needs a cute button.

A few of the squares for the blanket.

My intent was to sell these items in an Etsy shop I had back then. Anyway, I never sold them (or anything for that matter!) so I just kept them. As time went on, I tried to think of friends and family that I could give these pieces to, but every one I knew was having baby boys. . .including me, sweet girl. Mommy had three baby boys in a row!

I hope you like them because now they belong to you! Actually, they always belonged to you. See sweetheart, we can always see God's hand in our lives if we just take the time to look close enough. I had no idea you were coming when I made these, but God did!

I love you sweet baby.

22 Weeks

Another week in my tummy, girl baby, and I'm grateful.

Today, we honor a hero of sorts, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., for the things he did to help make little girls like you free. But, he was a man, flesh and blood like you and me, not something to be idolized, imperfect, not without fault.

However, what is special is that he walked in the calling God gave him: to live his life helping others. And he did that greatly, so greatly, that he helped change our entire country.

And when I think about it, that is, at its core, the calling we all have as God's children, sweetheart--to live our lives in service to others, just as Christ did. And when we know God, and know Him deep and well, we can do great things.

I pray that you, along with all your sisters and brothers, live a life before our Father, God, that is holy, pleasing, and acceptable to Him. I pray that you are the girls and boys, men and women, that He has called you to be. And that along your way, it can be said that you live a life dedicated to God, while helping others.

I love you, little one.